A man woke up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor came in and said, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
The man groaned, but the doctor went on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming, and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."
The man perked up.
"So," the doctor said, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agreed to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor came back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have," said the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?"
"Yes" said the man.
"What is your decision?" asked the doctor.
"We're getting granite counter tops."
