Before and after

These illustrations by Nacho Díaz are funny and sweet. Enjoy!

Quick post

Here's a funny one, just to keep things moving. I'm all over the place, buying some things for the apartment, waiting for deliveries, helping Julia... The "problem" is that everything closes between 2 and 5pm. The heat is really ferocious, people simply stay at home. I'm not used to it yet, and get frustrated waiting for the shops and other services to reopen in the afternoon. I should be able to move in by tomorrow. When I have everything the way I want it, I'll post some photos. Hasta la vista! 

Starting the week with a smile (perhaps a laugh)

Philosophy

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"

Warning

WARNING TO LADIES OF A CERTAIN AGE!!!

You've no doubt heard about people who have been abducted and had

their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years

ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs.

It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of

cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to

mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.

Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my

life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My arse was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they

took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had

stuck me with earlier. But my new arse was attached at least

three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to

give up my jeans in favour of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One

morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the

flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of

the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was

being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to

me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with

a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the

world wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons

are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and

me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted',

Look again - was it lifted from you? 

P. S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my boobs. I was

lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of

bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in

my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my

waistband.

P.P.S.   Those same thieves just came into my closet and shrank my clothes!

How do they do that?

Men also have their share of issues after a certain age! (H/T to GJ)

Quick laughs

Creative thinking

Anybody starting a diet?

A quick, silly post

Laugh is the best medicine...

Cat activates dog's turbo mode

Midweek smiles

Funny and cute at the same time:

Something to Ponder

Received this email from a friend.... 
Giggles are always welcome!

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?        

Unique Up On It. 

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?       

Tame Way. 

3. How Do  Crazy  People  Go Through The Forest ? 

They Take The Psycho Path 

4. How Do You Get Holy Water? 

You Boil The Hell Out Of It 

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? 

Dam! 

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? 

Polaroid's 

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work? 

A Stick 

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? 

Nacho Cheese. 

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers? 

Subordinate Clauses. (I love this one!)

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? 

Quattro Sinko. 

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? 

Spoiled Milk. 

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire? 

Frostbite. 

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? 

A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? 

Anyone Can Roast Beef. 

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? 

Right Where You Left Him.

                     16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big  Nostrils? 

Because They Have Big Fingers . 

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive? 

Because It Scares The Dog. 

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic? 

Sanka. 

19. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down? 

Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat. 

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver? 

A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! 
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack . 

Enjoy your day. ; ))

Confusing buttons

These hotel elevators are a challenge!

The last one gets first prize, it has the most creative layout of all three...