This video is incredibly sweet. Have a sweet weekend, everybody!
Saturday, 31 May 2014
Friday, 30 May 2014
Thursday, 29 May 2014
Wednesday, 28 May 2014
The little detective
This joke came from MrsG. It's another good one, thanks!
A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.
'Mommy,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'
'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied.
'It's not polite.'
'OK', the little girl says,
'How much do you weigh?'
'Now really,' the mother says,
'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'
Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'
'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!'
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
' My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.
'Well,' says the friend,
'all you need to do is look at her driver's license.
It's like a report card, it has everything on it.'
Later that night the little girl says to her mother,
'I know how old you are.
You are 32.'
The mother is surprised and asks,
'How did you find that out?
'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'
The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
'How in Heaven's name did you find that out?'
'And,' the little girl says triumphantly,
'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'
'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'
'Because you got an F in sex.'
A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.
'Mommy,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'
'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied.
'It's not polite.'
'OK', the little girl says,
'How much do you weigh?'
'Now really,' the mother says,
'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'
Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'
'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!'
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
' My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.
'Well,' says the friend,
'all you need to do is look at her driver's license.
It's like a report card, it has everything on it.'
Later that night the little girl says to her mother,
'I know how old you are.
You are 32.'
The mother is surprised and asks,
'How did you find that out?
'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'
The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
'How in Heaven's name did you find that out?'
'And,' the little girl says triumphantly,
'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'
'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'
'Because you got an F in sex.'
Tuesday, 27 May 2014
Amazing board
Mrsgunka sent us this pictures of a fantastic chopping board, which reminded me of the funny video...
Thank you, MrsG.
The Almighty Board is the ultimate kitchen assistant. This smart-board will simultaneously serve as your cutting board, display your recipes, provide step-by-step directions and weigh your ingredients out for you. After you wash it, it will even tell you if it has been cleaned enough to avoid cross-contamination or food poisoning. Wow!
Thank you, MrsG.
The Almighty Board is the ultimate kitchen assistant. This smart-board will simultaneously serve as your cutting board, display your recipes, provide step-by-step directions and weigh your ingredients out for you. After you wash it, it will even tell you if it has been cleaned enough to avoid cross-contamination or food poisoning. Wow!
Monday, 26 May 2014
Some quick pictures before the storm
The weather is absolutely disgusting today. It has been raining all morning and now there are some very dark clouds approaching. The forecast is for stormy weather. I'll post some pictures to keep things going before I pull the plugs.
This first picture made me think of Amy and Yulia:
We need a cute one to start the week with an aww:
Have a peaceful week!
This first picture made me think of Amy and Yulia:
We need a cute one to start the week with an aww:
Have a peaceful week!
Sunday, 25 May 2014
Quick thinking and a birthday! UPDATED
View sent us a joke and dedicated it to our Canadian friends. Thanks, View.
A man in a Washington supermarket tried to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant told him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce.
The man persisted and asked to see the manager. The boy said he'd ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, 'Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce.'
As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, 'And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.' The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
Later the manager said to the boy, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?'
'Canada, sir,' the boy replied.
'Well, why did you leave Canada ?' the manager asked.
The boy said, 'Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there.'
'Really?' said the manager. 'My wife is from Canada .'
'No shit?' replied the boy. 'Who did she play for?'
A man in a Washington supermarket tried to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant told him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce.
The man persisted and asked to see the manager. The boy said he'd ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, 'Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce.'
As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, 'And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.' The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
Later the manager said to the boy, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?'
'Canada, sir,' the boy replied.
'Well, why did you leave Canada ?' the manager asked.
The boy said, 'Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there.'
'Really?' said the manager. 'My wife is from Canada .'
'No shit?' replied the boy. 'Who did she play for?'
****************
Irishgirl's birthday dodged the list carefully compiled by GrannyJ, but Sleuth got the cat out of the bag and I had to order some cakes at very short notice!
Here's a good reason to move on from having 21st birthdays:
Finally, a celebration is a good time to remember this affliction:
Happy birthday, dear Irishgirl!
Saturday, 24 May 2014
Friday, 23 May 2014
Thursday, 22 May 2014
Hard hitting weather
Hail seems to be the "in" thing these days. There was a major hailstorm in Sao Paulo, Brazil, on Monday 19. Yesterday Colorado had loads of hailstones and today we woke up to a huge hailstorm, then had another one after lunch. A friend from London also reported a hailstorm this lunchtime.
It's sunny now, but who knows how long it will last? Yesterday we had some lively weather during the day and I took a couple of pictures of a spectacular sunset, thinking the weather had finally settled, but by the time we went to bed, we had to pull all plugs as a big storm approached. After that, the only plugs were in my ears! They're very useful for snoring and thunder... (taser doesn't work for thunder)
 |
| Sao Paulo, Brazil |
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| Denver, Colorado |
Wednesday, 21 May 2014
Reducing stress...
Mrsgunka sent us some stress reducing pictures. Laughing is definitely a very good medicine. Thank you, MrsG. [Wishing Jon all the best for today's surgery plus a quick and painless recuperation. We know he's in good hands!]
Tuesday, 20 May 2014
Monday, 19 May 2014
Sunday, 18 May 2014
Lovely birds
A bird enthusiast in England recorded his success in attracting new visitors after making changes to his garden:
A selection of some of the 39 species of birds that visit my garden. I have gradually changed my urban back garden into a wildlife friendly area by adding water features, fruit and berry bushes, trees and letting the ivy cover the fence, trees and back of the house. I have introduced a rough grass area and encouraged wild flowers such as trefoil, knapweed, nettles & teasel to grow. By year round feeding and adding nest boxes I have recorded 39 different species of birds including predators, which I suppose is a sign of a well stocked wildlife garden.
I found the video charming and very relaxing. We enjoy watching the birds that come to feed on our kitchen windowsill and admire this guy for the lovely environment he created for his feathered friends.
A selection of some of the 39 species of birds that visit my garden. I have gradually changed my urban back garden into a wildlife friendly area by adding water features, fruit and berry bushes, trees and letting the ivy cover the fence, trees and back of the house. I have introduced a rough grass area and encouraged wild flowers such as trefoil, knapweed, nettles & teasel to grow. By year round feeding and adding nest boxes I have recorded 39 different species of birds including predators, which I suppose is a sign of a well stocked wildlife garden.
I found the video charming and very relaxing. We enjoy watching the birds that come to feed on our kitchen windowsill and admire this guy for the lovely environment he created for his feathered friends.
Saturday, 17 May 2014
50 shades of funny
View sent us the joke and I found the dog picture elsewhere. 50 big thank yous, View.
Four guys have been going on the same golfing trip to St Andrews for many years..
Two days before the group is to leave, Jack's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Jack's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?
Two days later, the three get to St Andrews only to find Jack sitting at the bar with four drinks set up!
"I've been here since last night...
Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair when my wife came up behind me, put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?' I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a sexy black nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well, she's been reading 50 Shades of Grey......
On the bed she had handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.
And then she said, 'Do whatever you want.'
So I did, and here I am!"
Four guys have been going on the same golfing trip to St Andrews for many years..
Two days before the group is to leave, Jack's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Jack's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?
Two days later, the three get to St Andrews only to find Jack sitting at the bar with four drinks set up!
"I've been here since last night...
Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair when my wife came up behind me, put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?' I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a sexy black nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well, she's been reading 50 Shades of Grey......
On the bed she had handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.
And then she said, 'Do whatever you want.'
So I did, and here I am!"
***********
This one is for Dublin:
Friday, 16 May 2014
Acute senses
Today we have a joke sent to us by mrsgunka. Thank you, MrsG.
A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark shades.
She says to him, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway......
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb test line. It's a good all-around combination, and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
"Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally passes gas.
At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes......there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was her who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around, right?
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"
He replies, "Yes, ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50."
A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark shades.
She says to him, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway......
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb test line. It's a good all-around combination, and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
"Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally passes gas.
At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes......there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was her who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around, right?
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"
He replies, "Yes, ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50."
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