Tuesday 7 May 2013

Des mots - The truth behind them


Your definitions of the "mots" were hilarious. Here are some examples:

Conscious at last!

Pasteque - pasta that you have to wait on a long line to buy
Gazon - gadget that tells you when your fuel is low
Cafard - gastro-intestinal emission
Chouette - AHH. Chu!
Ramoneur - one who only dates Ramons
Chauve-souris - a shave so close you almost lost your smile

Amy

Pastèque - Twinkie
Gazon - Stink
Cafard - Cyst
Chouette - Flyswatter
Frelon - Ruffle
Chauve-souris - Argle-bargle
Robinet - Burglar
Vis - Gristle
Ramoneur - Gumchewer

Betzy

Pasteque - duct tape
Gazon - Looky Lou's
Cafard - constipated
Chouette - eat
Frelon - turf grass
Chauve-souris - apologies
Robinet - chesty
Vis - p's and q's
Ramoneur - fertilizer

View_From_Here

Pasteque - non-permanent beauty "patches"
Gazon - A group of homosexuals staring at each other.
Cafard - bad air trapped under your Caftan
Chouette - kibble for miniature poodles
Frelon - 'captured' gas used in car air conditioners (see Cafard)
Chauve-souris - A social gathering (with wine) for machos
Robinet - an unhatched bird egg
Vis - The abbreviation for Blog Lurkers (European in origin)
Ramoneur - Ramon's special fertilizer (similar to 'ErnaEarth')

Sleuth decided to use all the words in a sentence. Here are her two versions:

After a very long night of dining on Ramoneur, the Frelons of the Chauve-souris decided to breakfast on Robinets and Chouettes washed down with Cafard, but found they required many applications of Vis after learning they had inadvertently Gazon-ed on the eye-scorching Pastèque instead of wine labels.

***

She sneeringly glared upon the elitist wine labels at the Chauve-souris, but mirrors cracked in the process, throwing the Pastèque gazon throughout the room like a laserlight show gone mad, stultifying the gay Frelons; some dropped their Robinets as they were lifted to lips and Chouettes hardened in midchew; as glasses of Cafard shattered on the floor, it became horrifyingly apparent to all...there was not enough Vis in the universe to make the horrid antidote known as Ramoneur look remotely edible, even if it meant escape.

Amy and Mrsgunka followed suit:

Amy:

"Pastèque!" shouted the old man, waving his fist, upon almost being sideswiped by an even older bicycliste.

"Gazon! GAZON!" screamed the bicycliste back at him. "You are a true Cafard! A Chouette!!! Your kind should be frelon-ed in the Chauve-souris. Yes!"

Never at a loss, our first old man let loose: "May the robinet vis your ramoneur! Oui! It is what you deserve."

Having both cleared their sinuses, as they did in this exact same way every morning, each one went his way. With a smile. Thinking about the checkers the two men would play tonight after dinner, as they did each night, with each other...

Mrsgunka:

I just know, my get up and go has got up and gazon! Just put in two batches of frelon in the ramoneur. When it's done I'll throw on the chouette, fix the pasteque and pour the chauve-souris. Pass the cafard, say grace and all will be well again. Vis? Robinet anyone?

[There are more definitions dotted around on the last thread.]

The true definitions will have you laughing at the creative efforts above. The thought of drinking cafards makes me shudder!

Pastèque - Watermelon

Gazon - Lawn

Cafard - Cockroach

Chouette - Owl

Frelon - Hornet

Chauve-souris - Bat (chauve = bald, souris = mouse)

Robinet - Faucet

Vis - Screw

Ramoneur - Chimney-sweep

[I mentioned Baldilocks as a nickname for and old "friend." I came across the word when looking up "chauve," which means bald. It's also used as a pejorative term, i.e., baldilocks!]