They are old, but still quite funny:
If lawyers are disbarred, clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians are delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed and dry-cleaners depressed?
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Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
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Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
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Why do they call it instant credit when it really means instant debt?
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How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
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The trouble with learning from experience is that the test comes first, then the lesson...
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Paper clip: The larval stage of coat hangers.
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Laziness: Resting before you get tired.
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Gambling: The sure way to get nothing for something.
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Committee: A group of people who keep minutes and waste hours.
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Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
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Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the engineers are German, the administrators are Swiss and the lovers are Italian. Hell is where the police are German, the cooks are British, the engineers are Italian, the administrators are French and the lovers are Swiss.
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And God said: "Let there be vodka!" And He saw that it was good. Then He said: "Let there be light!" then He quickly said "Whoa, too much light!"
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Why be difficult? Put some effort into it and be impossible!
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Let's end the post with a cartoon:
