Thursday, 10 April 2014

Miraculous strength and a heart of gold

Mrsgunka sent us this funny video and a wicked joke. Thank you, MrsG.



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If you think lawyers don't have heart, read the best lawyer story of all time... bar none.

The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer.

So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?’

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness, and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?'

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, 'Uh... No, I didn't know that.'

'Secondly,' says the lawyer, 'did it show that my brother, a disabled Veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?

The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again…

'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?'

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so sorry. I had no idea.'

And the lawyer says, 'So, if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?

Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Priorities...

GrannyJ sent us this very funny joke. Thanks, GJ, I'm still chuckling...

A man woke up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor came in and said, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."



The man groaned, but the doctor went on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming, and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."

The man perked up.

"So," the doctor said, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."

The man agreed to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor came back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"

"Yes I have," said the man.

"And has she helped you make a decision?"

"Yes" said the man.

"What is your decision?" asked the doctor.

"We're getting granite counter tops."



Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Some cat and dog fun

The first cartoon is self-explanatory:


This one reminded me of GrannyJ's Dublin:


Meanwhile, somewhere in Kansas...

Monday, 7 April 2014

A wonderful shopping experience




Today it's Short Ribs birthday. She's an old friend from the old blog but hasn't been visiting lately. She did send us a funny contribution a couple of years ago, HERE. We have her daughter as a regular, though. PGFan, please relay our warmest birthday wishes to your mom.

Sunday, 6 April 2014

Curiosity...

I've saved a photo of my little first cousins twice removed a few weeks ago and the picture Amy posted yesterday reminded me of it. Another interesting coincidence, apart from the curiosity about what's on the other side of the fence, is the colour of the family dog.

Amy's boys, plus dog
My little cousins
...and their dog