An anonymous reader dedicated these jokes to Mrsgunka and Pallottine:
A wife asks her husband:
"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6."
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again! Men will get it the first time.
My work is done here.
******
Water in the carburetor
WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous "
WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out . Where's the car?"
WIFE: "In the pool"
******
HE MUST PAY
Husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her mom and said, "He fought with me again, I'm coming to live with you." Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I'm coming to live with you."
******
Today's Short Reading from the Bible.
Genesis:
"And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth." Then He made the earth round...and He laughed and laughed and laughed!
Saturday, 19 October 2013
Friday, 18 October 2013
What does your drink look like?
I posted these pictures a long time ago, but I find them so beautiful that I decided to post them again. You won't need a microscope to enjoy your drink, just place your orders at the bar...
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| Budweiser |
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| Black Russian |
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| Bloody Mary |
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| Chablis |
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| Cola |
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| Cranberry juice |
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| Martini |
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| Gin & Tonic |
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| Iced tea |
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| Margarita |
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| Mexican lager |
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| Orange juice |
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| Pina colada |
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| Red wine |
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| Rose wine |
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| Scotch |
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| Jack Daniels |
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| White wine |
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| Tequila |
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| Irish stout |
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| Champagne |
Labels:
interesting
Thursday, 17 October 2013
Wednesday, 16 October 2013
What I learned in school today
Mrsgunka sent us this joke. Thank you, MrsG.
A kindergarten class was given a homework assignment to find out something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class. He picked up a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down.
Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was.
"It's a period," he replied.
"I can see that," said the teacher, "but what is so exciting about a period?"
"Darned if I know," said the boy, "but yesterday my sister was missing one, Mom fainted, Dad had a heart attack, and the boy next door joined the Navy."
A kindergarten class was given a homework assignment to find out something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class. He picked up a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down.
Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was.
"It's a period," he replied.
"I can see that," said the teacher, "but what is so exciting about a period?"
"Darned if I know," said the boy, "but yesterday my sister was missing one, Mom fainted, Dad had a heart attack, and the boy next door joined the Navy."
Labels:
jokes
Tuesday, 15 October 2013
Monday, 14 October 2013
Seven years in France
Today is the 7th anniversary of our move to France. Here are some pictures of various places in lovely Correze, taken over the years. We're very lucky to live in such a beautiful part of France. Enjoy!
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| Chamberet |
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| Collonges-la-Rouge |
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| Collonges-la-Rouge |
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| Madranges |
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| Masseret |
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| Meyssac |
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| Meyssac |
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| Pompadour |
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| Pompadour |
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| Segur-le-Chateau |
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| Segur-le-Chateau |
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| Treignac |
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| Treignac |
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| Tulle |
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| Tulle |
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| Uzerche |
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| Venarsal |
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| Beaulieu-sur-Dordogne |
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| Beaulieu-sur-Dordogne |
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| Lestards |
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| Correze |
Labels:
France
Sunday, 13 October 2013
I'm sorry, but blonde jokes are funny...
View sent us this joke. Thank you, View.
A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and, one night, he's doing a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.
Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Swedish blond women that way? What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all Blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general ... pathetically all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells: "You stay out of this! I'm talking to that little sh*t on your lap."
A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and, one night, he's doing a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.
Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Swedish blond women that way? What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all Blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general ... pathetically all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells: "You stay out of this! I'm talking to that little sh*t on your lap."
Labels:
jokes
Saturday, 12 October 2013
Friday, 11 October 2013
Having fun with codes
The other day Amy tried to explain how to do hyperlinks and it didn't work very well because the explanation itself turned into a hyperlink! It's all to do with html codes. You write something in code and it gets reinterpreted, appearing as normal text, but modified to italic, bold, hyperlink, etc, depending on the code you use. Examples:
italic
bold
strike
Text appears small.
Text appears big.
click here
The Blogger interface looks like this:
There are buttons on the top that apply the code to any highlighted text. When you click on HTML, the box changes and the html codes appear:
I had to take a screenshot of the html codes, because if I had tried to copy and paste it, it would be immediately reinterpreted and appear exactly as in the list of examples, minus the codes.
The last example is a hyperlink. If you want to make any text appear as a clickable link, all you do is write everything exactly as above, but instead of "http://whattimeisoclock.blogspost.fr/" you paste the address of the site you want to link and instead of "click here" you write what you want to appear in your comment, such as "Cool site" or anything you that takes your fancy.
The codes for italics, bold, strike, etc, are quite easy, but must be applied exactly as they are above. Simply use your own words instead of italic, bold, etc, between the opening and closing tags.
Try these simple codes in your comments. It should be fun!
italic
bold
Text appears small.
Text appears big.
click here
The Blogger interface looks like this:
There are buttons on the top that apply the code to any highlighted text. When you click on HTML, the box changes and the html codes appear:
I had to take a screenshot of the html codes, because if I had tried to copy and paste it, it would be immediately reinterpreted and appear exactly as in the list of examples, minus the codes.
The last example is a hyperlink. If you want to make any text appear as a clickable link, all you do is write everything exactly as above, but instead of "http://whattimeisoclock.blogspost.fr/" you paste the address of the site you want to link and instead of "click here" you write what you want to appear in your comment, such as "Cool site" or anything you that takes your fancy.
The codes for italics, bold, strike, etc, are quite easy, but must be applied exactly as they are above. Simply use your own words instead of italic, bold, etc, between the opening and closing tags.
Try these simple codes in your comments. It should be fun!
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