Sunday, 22 September 2013

Love and pain

Mrsgunka sent us this joke. Thank you, MrsG.

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father.

He asked if they were interested. Both said they were very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.

At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.

Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain and the husband had experienced none. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home they found the mailman dead on the porch.


Friday, 20 September 2013

A fun birthday greeting

Dave Allen was a great Irish comedian. What could be better than a bit of Irish fun to wish our resident Leprechaun a happy birthday?



Happy birthday, dear Pallottine!

Thursday, 19 September 2013

There you are, Mrsgunka

MrsG has been raving about this commercial, so I found it. Enjoy!

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

Golden oldies



An eighty-five-year-old man marries a beautiful twenty-two-year old woman. Because her husband is so old, the bride thinks it's safer for them to sleep in separate rooms, fearful that he might overexert himself and come to some harm.

After the wedding, the young bride gets ready for bed, climbs under the covers and waits expectantly. Sure enough, she hears a knock. The door opens and there stands her husband, ready for action. When they finish making love, the old man leaves and his young wife prepares to sleep.

A few minutes later she wakes to another knock on the door. Her husband walks in, climbs into bed and makes love to her. She's very surprised with his prowess. He kisses her and goes back to his room.

The young lady is exhausted by now and quickly falls asleep, only to be awoken in a short while by her husband knocking on her door. He comes in as fresh as a twenty-five-year old and they make love again.

When he's set to leave, the bride turns to him and says, "I'm amazed, darling. I've been with men a quarter of your age who were good only once! You're a fantastic lover."

Somewhat embarrassed, the old man scratches his head, turns to his wife and says, "You mean I've been here already?"


***********


The old couple are lying in bed when the wife says,

"Do you remember when we were first married and you used to hold my hand before we went to sleep?"

So the husband holds her hand and tries to go back to sleep.

"Darling, you also used to hug me when we were in bed."

He puts his arm around her and tries to go to sleep.

"You always kissed me as well."

He gives her a peck on the cheek, turns to the other side, covers his head with the pillow and tries once again to get some sleep.

"Ah, and you loved to bite my earlobe."

He throws the covers, puts the bedside light on, puts on his slippers and leaves the room.

"Where are you going???"

"To get my teeth!"