Tuesday, 15 January 2013

The tax man

At the end of the tax year, the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.


While the agent was checking the books he turned to the Accountant of the Hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"

"Good question," noted the Accountant. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.

But on he went, in his obnoxious way. "What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"

"Ah, yes," replied the Hospital Accountant, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Accountant.

"Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Accountant. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS, and about once a year they send us a complete dick!"

Sunday, 13 January 2013

Mesmerizing birds

View_From_Here sent me the link to a site showing the video below. I had to go to youtube to get the embed code and found the second one, which is also fascinating. Thanks, View.



Saturday, 12 January 2013

Meow

I'm feeling a bit lazy today. It's cold and gloomy, not terribly inspiring. I'll give you some cat photos, they tend to cheer me up, I hope they'll cheer you up too!





Friday, 11 January 2013

Incredible nature

What an fantastic place!

This photo shows a surreal-looking ice cave on the Kamchatka Peninsula of Russia. It was formed by a stream flowing from the hot springs associated with the Mutnovsky volcano. This stream flows beneath glacial ice on the flanks of Mutnovsky. Because glaciers on Kamchatka volcanoes have been melting in recent years, the roof of this cave is now so thin that sunlight penetrates through it, eerily illuminating the icy structures within. Photo taken by Marc Szeglat on September 12, 2012

(Click on image to enlarge)

Thursday, 10 January 2013

The artist

There was an artist who worked from a studio in his home and specialized in nudes. He had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months now.


As usual, his model reported, and after exchanging the usual greetings and small talk, she began to undress for the day's work.

He told her not to bother, that he felt pretty bad with a cold he had been fighting. He told her that he would pay her for the day, but that she could just go home. He just wanted some hot tea and then, off to bed.

The model said, "Oh, please, let me fix it for you. It's the least I can do."

He agreed and told her to fix herself a cup, too. They were sitting in the living room just exchanging small talk and enjoying their tea, when he heard the front door open and close, then some familiar footsteps.

"Oh my God!" he whispered. "It's my wife! Quick - Take your clothes off!"

Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Sending good vibes

Bush fires are raging in many parts of Australia yet again. The temperatures dropped overnight, much to the relief of the firefighters, but they're set to rise again by Friday. Tasmania was the worst hit, followed by New South Wales and Victoria.

I chatted to our son Paul, who lives in Melbourne, and he said conditions are pretty bad. So far, there are no reports of human fatalities, but there were devastating losses of livestock.

Let's all do a rain dance for our Australian friends. They need a lot of rain!

Here are some pictures of the fires:

Tasmania

In Tasmania, a grandmother led her grandchildren to the sea, the only safe place...

New South Wales: The smoke darkens the sky and it looks like night time

One of the fires from a distance

Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield took this photo from the International Space Station

Monday, 7 January 2013

Protective mother

Peter found this story today:

Look into her eyes as she cradles her newborn baby and you know she's not going to let anyone mess with the little ape.

Keepers at Twycross Zoo, Warwickshire, have so far been unable to get close enough to 16-stone (224lbs) Ozala to determine the sex of the infant, born four days ago.

Read more on the Daily Mail.




Sunday, 6 January 2013

Modern fairy tale

Normally I don't post stuff about politics, but I found this video very sweet (and accurate), so I'd like to share it with you. It's narrated by Ed Asner.

Saturday, 5 January 2013

Life is hard

Shapeshifterbelly sent me this joke. Thank you, Shapeshifter.


The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards, claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.

AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.

RANCHER: Well, there's my hired hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. 

Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.

AGENT: That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one.

RANCHER: That would be me.

Friday, 4 January 2013

Lovely owls follow-up

I received a comment on the photo below, drawing my attention to the lack of credit for the picture. The majority of photos posted here are found on the internet and very rarely credit the authors.


I'm very happy to tell you that this photo was taken by Ellen D. Hartlmeier on behalf of O.W.L (Orphan Wildlife Rehabilitation Society). I'm glad Ellen posted that comment. We've been in touch via e-mail and she told me about their Facebook page, which has up-to-date info and loads of photos! Click HERE to visit their page.

I found out that this lovely reading bird is called Sarah and that she's one of the ambassadors for the species in the Society's educational programs.

I know many of you don't "do" Facebook, so please visit their website to find out more about the excellent work they do and to get acquainted with very attractive birds. They specialize in raptors and, as enthusiastic followers of the Decorah eagles, I'm sure many of you would be fascinated to learn a little bit more about some of the other species. There are many stories, a virtual tour and also a wish list on their homepage. Some of the items on the list are quite easy to find and post to them. They also accept donations.

Enjoy!

[Bonus: I made a new friend!]

Thursday, 3 January 2013

Long necked fun

A new David Attenborough wildlife series started last night. This time he's covering Africa and there was some good footage of two male giraffes fighting over a female. It inspired me to look for the photos I've been saving for a while.

Giraffes can be quite lovely when they're not fighting...







Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Clever graffiti

When street art is clever, witty or simply beautiful, it can enhance a drab, boring urban landscape. Pity there's too much of the defacing type of graffiti out there...





Here are some fun steps:




Tuesday, 1 January 2013

A fun start

Let's start the new year with some fun stuff. We start with a challenge:

How many squares can you find in this picture? This puzzle has more than 250 thousand guesses on Facebook.


*****

Mrsgunka sent me a nice link to the site of a Swiss student where there are some geeky things. But there's a fun thingie that calculates how many days old you are and the day of the week you were born.

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT

*****

Who could this be?


*****

Which one are you?


Finally, some interesting pictures:






Monday, 31 December 2012

Happy New Year!

Peter and I would like to wish you a wonderful 2013!


Sunday, 30 December 2012

Patience

This guy must have a very steady hand, excellent eyesight and a lot of patience... Dalton Ghetti creates miniature masterpieces on the tips of pencils!











Saturday, 29 December 2012

Young creatures

I like to collect photos of mothers and their young and when I have enough new ones, I put them in a post. This is the latest batch: