Sunday, 3 June 2012

A very royal occasion

We watched the Diamond Jubilee Pageant this afternoon, which was quite interesting. We're not big fans of royalty, but enjoyed seeing all the boats. Towards the grand finale, the skies opened and drenched everybody. The footage below is from before the deluge.

This is from the Daily Telegraph (not my favourite source, but it was all I could find):

The Thames Diamond Jubilee Pageant made its way 10 miles along the river from Battersea to Tower Bridge, where an “Avenue of Sail” – made up 98 vessels too large to join the pageant itself – was waiting.


Figures from the organisers showed that the total number of craft expected to be on the water for the historic occasion – including safety boats and those moored along the route – is 1,066.


Such was the fleet’s size, it took 75 minutes to pass.


The Brits are very good at organizing this kind of thing, even during a recession. It must have cost a fortune. The four-day celebration started yesterday at the Epsom Derby and will come to an close on Tuesday.

Finally!

I think I had more than enough of all things relating to the queen in the past few weeks. On some days there was very little else on TV...

Saturday, 2 June 2012

So true!

Mrsgunka sent me this all too familiar tale...


When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place.


Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.


Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.


You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!


The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty.


You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance."


In this position your aging, toneless (God I should have gone to the gym!!!) thigh muscles begin to shake.


You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance".


To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.


You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That will have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.


Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work.


The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet.


"Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT.


It is wet of course.


You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.


You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get".


By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes.


The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.


At this point, you give up... You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat.


You're e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d.


You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket! and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.


You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, .....so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.


You are no longer able to smile politely to them.


A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this".


As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom.


Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"



This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse, and hand you Kleenex under the door!


Thank you, Mrsgunka.

Friday, 1 June 2012

The power of good weather and positive thinking

I'm late posting today... We spent the day in Tulle, shopping and having a couple of drinks out in the sun. We chatted a lot, talked about friends near and far and watched people. All in all, it was a very nice day. 

The weather has been consistently miserable for months on end and it's lovely to be able to go out without an umbrella!

We could see people being happy, enjoying each other's company. We even had some conversations with complete strangers!

Here are some photos of Tulle:





We were also thinking about a very special friend, sending good vibes and best wishes. I like to believe that sending good vibes helps friends going through difficult times. Please join us in this positive thinking, just channel your thoughts through us.

This blog is a tight community and together we do have the power to help each other from a distance. 

It's hot, I'm starting to ramble... I think it's time to have a cold beer!

Thursday, 31 May 2012

Bailando...

It's hot here. That makes my Spanish side want to dance!



Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Innovative doctor

Here's another cheeky joke, courtesy of View_From_Here:

A guy visiting in Hawaii fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible
sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted
after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.


With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor
prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra
pill every four hours.

The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor’?

The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it’ll keep the sheets off his
legs.'


Thank you, View.