Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Conversation in heaven

Here's another good joke from Mrsgunka. Thank you for keeping us laughing, Mrsgunka.


SYLVIA:
Hi, Wanda!

WANDA:
Hi, Sylvia! How did you die?

SYLVIA:
I froze to death.

WANDA:
How horrible!

SYLVIA:
It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from
the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy,
and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?

WANDA:
I died of a massive heart attack.
I suspected that my husband was cheating,
so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself
in the den watching TV.

SYLVIA:
So, what happened?

WANDA:
I was so sure there was another woman
there somewhere that I started running
all over the house looking. I ran up into
the attic and searched, and down into the
basement. Then I went through every closet
and checked under all the beds. I kept this up
until I had looked everywhere, and finally
I became so exhausted that I just keeled over
with a heart attack and died.

SYLVIA:
Too bad you didn't look in the freezer first...
we'd both still be alive.

Monday, 26 March 2012

Certain politicians... and the 1%


The candy with a hole

This story came from Mrsgunka:

A teacher passed a pack of LifeSavers around the classroom and asked the children to pair the colors with the flavors:


Red = Cherry
Yellow = Lemon
Orange = Orange
Green = Lime

She then handed out some honey flavored ones and the children couldn't identify the taste.

"I'll give you a clue," said the teacher. "It's what your mom sometimes calls your dad."


One little girl looked up in horror, spat out the sweet and yelled, "Eww, they're assholes!"


Good one, Mrsgunka, thank you!

Sunday, 25 March 2012

If animals could talk...

View_From_Here sent me this funny collection of animal photos:























Thank you, View.