View_From_Here sent me this joke:
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole...
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize... "Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.
"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and skillful massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel?"
"Feels great," he replied, "but I still think my thumb's broken!"
Thank you, View.
Monday, 16 January 2012
Sunday, 15 January 2012
Saturday, 14 January 2012
Quick thinking
Mrsgunka sent me this joke about two naughty ladies...
Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua. As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar for a drink."
The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do."
They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.
The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer said, "A Doberman?"
The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."
The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."
The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought,"What the heck," so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.
Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog"
The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"
The woman with the Chihuahua said, "A Chihuahua? They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!"
Thank you, Mrsgunka.
Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua. As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar for a drink."
The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do."
They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.
The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer said, "A Doberman?"
The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."
The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."
The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought,"What the heck," so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.
Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog"
The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"
The woman with the Chihuahua said, "A Chihuahua? They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!"
Thank you, Mrsgunka.
Labels:
funnies
Friday, 13 January 2012
Life!
I ain't got no home, ain't got no shoes
Ain't got no money, ain't got no class
Ain't got no skirts, ain't got no sweater
Ain't got no perfume, ain't got no bed
Ain't got no mind.
Ain't got no mother, ain't got no culture
Ain't got no friends, ain't got no schoolin'
Ain't got no love, ain't got no name
Ain't got no ticket, ain't got no token
Ain't got no god.
And what have I got?
why am I alive anyway?
yeah what have I got?
nobody can take away...?
Got my hair, got my head
Got my brains, got my ears
Got my eyes, got my nose
Got my mouth, I got my smile
I got my tongue, got my chin
Got my neck, got my boobies
Got my heart, got my soul
Got my back, I got my sex.
I got my arms, got my hands, got my fingers,
got my legs, got my feet, got my toes,
got my liver, got my blood...
I've got life,
I've got my freedom
I've got life
I've got life
and I am gonna keep it
I've got life
and nobody's gonna take it away.
I've got life!
Labels:
music
Thursday, 12 January 2012
The birds, the bees and other friends
We need some beauty to counter the ugliness of the video I posted earlier. It comes courtesy of Mrsgunka.
Thank you, Mrsgunka, we needed it.
Thank you, Mrsgunka, we needed it.
Labels:
nature
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