Saturday, 31 August 2013
Friday, 30 August 2013
Late late post!
I'm sorry it's so late. We've been out all day, doing a million and one things...
I'll stay with the cat theme. Our son Paul, who lives in Australia, keeps posting cat things on Facebook and I keep saving them!
I'll stay with the cat theme. Our son Paul, who lives in Australia, keeps posting cat things on Facebook and I keep saving them!
Thursday, 29 August 2013
Tuesday, 27 August 2013
History can be fun
Amy sent me a link to some History jokes and puns, so I selected a few (there were 21 in total!). Thank you, Amy.
Entering heaven
We have two Heaven jokes today.
Shapeshifterbelly sent us the first one. Thank you, SSB.
When everybody on Earth was dead and waiting to enter heaven, God appeared and said,
"I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. Now, I want all the women to report to St. Peter."
Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line for men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.
God said to the long line, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves; I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed me. Learn from him."
God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."
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The second one was sent by Mrsgunka. Thank you, MrsG.
All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk who keeps records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life.
The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one. "I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this point the stress got to me, and I suffered a massive heart attack and died." The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.
The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way, but failed and was hit and killed by the chest."
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room. He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the fellow in here just before you."
"I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked hiding' in this cedar chest...."
Shapeshifterbelly sent us the first one. Thank you, SSB.
When everybody on Earth was dead and waiting to enter heaven, God appeared and said,
"I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. Now, I want all the women to report to St. Peter."
Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line for men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.
God said to the long line, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves; I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed me. Learn from him."
God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."
***********************************************************************
The second one was sent by Mrsgunka. Thank you, MrsG.
All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk who keeps records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life.
The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one. "I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this point the stress got to me, and I suffered a massive heart attack and died." The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.
The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way, but failed and was hit and killed by the chest."
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room. He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the fellow in here just before you."
"I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked hiding' in this cedar chest...."
Monday, 26 August 2013
Sunday, 25 August 2013
Saturday, 24 August 2013
Friday, 23 August 2013
Thursday, 22 August 2013
Wednesday, 21 August 2013
Tuesday, 20 August 2013
Funny cupcakes
These cupcakes look very appropriate for a certain person... the one who always puts her foot in her mouth!
Monday, 19 August 2013
Giving
I saw this on Facebook and thought it was really nice. It made me think of this modest blog....
Today my mom would have been 92. She was the most giving person I've ever known...
Today my mom would have been 92. She was the most giving person I've ever known...
Sunday, 18 August 2013
Saturday, 17 August 2013
Opportunist
I mentioned an American we met in Lisbon in my post about the snails. I said he was very different from progressive Ann and Larry.
This guy was surrounded by twelve to fifteen women of many nationalities, all very excited to be near him. They were in Lisbon for an evangelical convention and had various inspirational badges: "God's word is the truth," "Together in the Holy Spirit," and others.
A number of women handed me their cameras and asked to be photographed with their American heartthrob. I obliged, then asked him if I could take his photo. He was delighted.
Dora and I guessed that he was offering the women something extra, perhaps visiting them in the guise of the Holy Ghost for a double-dose of spiritual togetherness...
This guy was surrounded by twelve to fifteen women of many nationalities, all very excited to be near him. They were in Lisbon for an evangelical convention and had various inspirational badges: "God's word is the truth," "Together in the Holy Spirit," and others.
A number of women handed me their cameras and asked to be photographed with their American heartthrob. I obliged, then asked him if I could take his photo. He was delighted.
Dora and I guessed that he was offering the women something extra, perhaps visiting them in the guise of the Holy Ghost for a double-dose of spiritual togetherness...
Friday, 16 August 2013
Fun buses
Mrsgunka sent us another batch of creative bus wraps. Thank you, MrsG.
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| "Use the crossing!" |
Thursday, 15 August 2013
Wednesday, 14 August 2013
An aww... moment
We're going out to see some friends from the UK, so I'll leave you with a quick cute photo.
Tuesday, 13 August 2013
Animal photos
View_From_Here sent me a delightful collection of animal shots. Here are some we haven't seen before (I think...). Thank you, View.
