Sunday, 5 June 2016

Trying to get into the college football team

The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team.
“Can you tackle?” asked the coach.
“Watch this,” said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
“Wow,” said the coach. “I’m impressed. Can you run?”
“Of course I can run,” said the freshman.
He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
“Great!” enthused the coach. “But can you pass a football?”

The freshman hesitated for a few seconds.
“Well, sir,” he said, “if I can swallow it, I can probably pass "

Saturday, 4 June 2016

Adding humour to photos

Cartoonist Lucas Levitan adds a funny touch to other people's photos on Instagram...








Thursday, 2 June 2016

Breathtakingly blue

This photo was taken by a young Dutch student called Siel, in Chefchaouen, Morocco.


Wednesday, 1 June 2016

What are friends for?

This is a sweet little anecdote...

I came home one day to find two little girls on the steps of my building. Both were crying hard, shedding big tears. Thinking they might be hurt, I dropped my briefcase and quickly went over to them. "Are you all right?" I asked.


Still sobbing, one held up her doll. "My baby's arm came off," she said.

I took the doll and its disjointed arm. After a little effort and luck, the doll was again whole. "Thank you," came a whisper from the girl as I handed her the doll back. Next, looking into the tearful eyes of her friend, I asked, "And what's the matter with you, young lady?"

She wiped her cheeks and said, "Oh I'm okay, I was just helping her cry."


Tuesday, 31 May 2016

Sticks and stones

I really like the simplicity of these charming creations by Sharon Nowlan, from Nova Scotia.








Monday, 30 May 2016

Cats, dogs, humans... and the knee

I'll start with a knee update: it's hurting on and off. Yesterday it wasn't too bad, because I changed the dressing and made it a bit less tight than before, so I could bend my knee somewhat. Couldn't sleep last night for no particular reason and today the knee is unhappy. C'est la vie, it will heal eventually...

    These are not my knees. I wish my left knee looked like the one in the picture...

Now let's have a laugh with the cats and dogs:



Saturday, 28 May 2016

Nice trees

Some of these trees are calm, some seem nervous and one of them looks terribly stubborn!










KNEE UPDATE

It's hurting. A lot! I can't put any weight on my left leg. Peter is cooking lunch (cooking is not his thing). I'll let you know how it turned out. Smells nice...

Friday, 27 May 2016

Having a laugh with Google

These are the top questions people asked Google, by US state. If this is not true, at least it's very, very funny!





Thursday, 26 May 2016

Birds with a difference

I don't really get the circles around the birds, but Daniel Taylor, the artist, must have a good reason for them... They're his paintings, after all. I like them a lot.





Wednesday, 25 May 2016

If there were computer programs for everything...

View sent us this funny exchange between a desperate woman and tech support. Thanks, View.

Dear Tech Support,

’Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate



Dear Desperate,

"First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. 

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!”

Tuesday, 24 May 2016

Photos of wildlife photographers

Dare I say these photographers were spotted in their natural habitat? Hahaha! These animals are endearingly curious, love them!