Some cat and dog fun

The first cartoon is self-explanatory:

This one reminded me of GrannyJ's Dublin:

Meanwhile, somewhere in Kansas...

A wonderful shopping experience

Today it's Short Ribs birthday. She's an old friend from the old blog but hasn't been visiting lately. She did send us a funny contribution a couple of years ago, HERE. We have her daughter as a regular, though. PGFan, please relay our warmest birthday wishes to your mom.

Curiosity...

I've saved a photo of my little first cousins twice removed a few weeks ago and the picture Amy posted yesterday reminded me of it. Another interesting coincidence, apart from the curiosity about what's on the other side of the fence, is the colour of the family dog.

Amy's boys, plus dog

My little cousins

...and their dog

Party time!

It's our Mrsgunka's birthday today. We need a lot of cake, of course... These cakes reflect some of the things MrsG enjoys.

Happy birthday, dear, dear friend!

Planning a new kitchen

Starting a new project

Enjoying the garden

...and herding cats!

Let's have a belly laugh

The bright side of pain, stress and cold

Today's post is a bit late because I'm having some computer issues...

Some readers are going through one or more of the inconveniences illustrated below.

I hope this photo will help alleviate the distress caused by any of them, all of them!

Waiting on hand and foot

It's a funny day

I searched for some original April Fool's pranks and this one caught my eye. It's from last year, in Australia:

Now for a quick groaner and then a lovely video.

Q: How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A: A buck an ear.

Heartwarming pictures

Panic room?

What she said

This video is in Russian, but it's hilarious just the same.

That will teach him

Having a bad day

Mrsgunka sent me these, with a note: "I just loved these! Why did so many remind me of TW? :-)"

Thank you, MrsG.

First you had trouble getting out of bed 

You had a stiff neck

You felt like you had a hangover and you weren't even drinking last night 

Your new diet really doesn't seem to be working out

You pulled a muscle when you tried to exercise 

Your new hat looked better on you at the store

You keep losing things

You feel like you're always in the wrong place at the wrong time

The boss chewed you out at work

You got caught in the rain at lunchtime

Then the lunch you had didn't seem to agree with you

You feel trapped

Uninvited guests showed up at dinnertime

On top of that you think you're coming down with the flu

And finally, you're alone in the house at night when you
think you hear a noise in the basement

A day at the races

View sent us this excellent joke and he thought Amy would like it... Thanks, View.

A group of Kentucky second, third, and fourth graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to Churchill Downs, the famous Louisville race track, to see and learn about thoroughbred horses.
                         

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the boys up, one by one.

As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, "You must be in the fourth grade."

He replied, "No, ma'am, I'm riding Silver Arrow in the 7th race."

[My laptop is playing up and won't let me upload photos to the blog. The blogger application on the iPad is very limited, so I can't format the post properly. I'm a bit anal about the look of the posts and I'm not a happy bunny!]

With age comes wisdom.

The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Jack because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Jack and came to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?

He said, "Jack snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.

They said, "Man, you look awful!" He said, "That Jack shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older guy, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?"

He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Jack into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night. Jack sat up and watched me all night."

Turenne

Turenne is classed as one of the most beautiful villages in France. It's a well deserved accolade. The atmosphere is hard to describe. Once inside the walls, it feels like you're in the past. There are no cars and the village is very well preserved. The view from the top of the tower is quite spectacular.

Now we step inside the village:

And we finish with the view:

A star is born

Today is Star's birthday. Lets' have cakes and a few laughs. Most of the clips in the video are very funny and Star should like them, as an animal lover... Happy birthday, dear friend.

Make sure you have the sound on.

Dog paddle

This photo is so lovely...

The affairs

GrannyJ sent as a batch of jokes about infidelity. They're quite good! Thank you, GJ.

A married man is having an affair

With his secretary.

One day they went to her place

And made love all afternoon.

Exhausted, they fell asleep

And woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed

And told his lover to take his shoes

Outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.

'I can't lie to you,' he replied,

'I'm having an affair with my secretary..

We had sex all afternoon.'

She looked down at his shoes and said:

'You lying bastard!

You've been playing golf!'

***********

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters

But always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time

For the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant

And delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery

To see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child

He had ever seen.

He told his wife: 'There's no way I can

Be the father of this baby.

Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!

Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

The wife smiled sweetly and replied:

'No, not this time!'

************

A mortician was working late one night.

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,

About to be cremated,

And made a startling discovery.

Schwartz had the largest private part

He had ever seen!

'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician

Commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated

With such an impressive private part.

It must be saved for posterity.'

So, he removed it,

Stuffed it into his briefcase,

And took it home.

'I have something to show

You won't believe,' he said to his wife,

Opening his briefcase.

'My God!' the wife exclaimed,

'Schwartz is dead!'

************

A woman was in bed with her lover

When she heard her husband

Opening the front door.

'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'

She rubbed baby oil all over him,

Then dusted him with talcum powder.

'Don't move until I tell you,'

She said. 'Pretend you're a statue.'

'What's this?' the husband inquired

As he entered the room..

'Oh it's a statue,' she replied.

'The Smiths bought one and I liked it

So I got one for us, too.'

No more was said,

Not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up,

Went to the kitchen and returned

With a sandwich and a beer.

'Here,' he said to the statue, 'have this.

I stood like that for two days at the Smiths

And nobody offered me a damned thing..'

************

A man walked into a cafe,

Went to the bar and ordered a beer.

'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.'

'One Cent?' the man exclaimed...

He glanced at the menu and asked:

'How much for a nice juicy steak

And a bottle of wine?'

'A nickel,' the barman replied.

'A nickel?' exclaimed the man.

'Where's the guy who owns this place?'

The bartender replied:

'Upstairs, with my wife.'

The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs

With your wife?'

The bartender replied:

'The same thing I'm doing

To his business down here.'

************

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly:

'I have something I must confess.'

'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.

'No,' he insisted,

'I want to die in peace..

I slept with your sister, your best friend,

her best friend, and your mother!'

'I know,' she replied.

'Now just rest and let the poison work.'