Sunday, 20 January 2013
Shark wisdom
Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.
"Follow me, son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing."
And they did.
"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times again, this time with all of our fins showing."
And they did.
"Now we eat everybody."
And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"
His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the sh*t inside!"
********
Further fatherly advice:
Labels:
jokes
Saturday, 19 January 2013
Devious old ad - UPDATE
I received an e-mail with a bunch of old ads, which we have seen before in a previous post. This one was new to me and I found it shocking. The text on the picture is difficult to read, so here it is:
How soon is too soon?
Not soon enough. Laboratory tests over the years have proven that babies who start drinking soda during that early formative period have a much higher chance of gaining acceptance and "fitting in" during those awkward pre-teen and teen years. So, do yourself a favor. Do your child a favor. Start them on a strict regimen of sodas and other sugary carbonated beverages right now, for a lifetime of guaranteed happiness.
They invoke science, referring to laboratory tests, concluding that babies who start drinking soda at an early age will "fit in" better in later years. How can you test behaviour over a span of ten to twelve years in a lab? Did they keep a bunch of children captive, one group drinking soda and a control group having none? Then, after a number of years, concluded that the soda drinkers were more sociable?
It's a dishonest ad. Fortunately, attitudes have changed and this ad wouldn't be tolerated today, in view of the alarming rise in childhood obesity!
UPDATE
I'm relieved to find out that this ad is a fake! Thank you, Amy/Ottoline, for providing the following link:
The Museum of Hoaxes
How soon is too soon?
Not soon enough. Laboratory tests over the years have proven that babies who start drinking soda during that early formative period have a much higher chance of gaining acceptance and "fitting in" during those awkward pre-teen and teen years. So, do yourself a favor. Do your child a favor. Start them on a strict regimen of sodas and other sugary carbonated beverages right now, for a lifetime of guaranteed happiness.
They invoke science, referring to laboratory tests, concluding that babies who start drinking soda at an early age will "fit in" better in later years. How can you test behaviour over a span of ten to twelve years in a lab? Did they keep a bunch of children captive, one group drinking soda and a control group having none? Then, after a number of years, concluded that the soda drinkers were more sociable?
It's a dishonest ad. Fortunately, attitudes have changed and this ad wouldn't be tolerated today, in view of the alarming rise in childhood obesity!
UPDATE
I'm relieved to find out that this ad is a fake! Thank you, Amy/Ottoline, for providing the following link:
The Museum of Hoaxes
Friday, 18 January 2013
Let's get warm
The weather is not very inviting... but here's some warm music to cheer us up!
Labels:
music
Thursday, 17 January 2013
Wednesday, 16 January 2013
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
The tax man
At the end of the tax year, the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.
While the agent was checking the books he turned to the Accountant of the Hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"
"Good question," noted the Accountant. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages."
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.
But on he went, in his obnoxious way. "What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Hospital Accountant, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Accountant.
"Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Accountant. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS, and about once a year they send us a complete dick!"
While the agent was checking the books he turned to the Accountant of the Hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"
"Good question," noted the Accountant. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages."
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.
But on he went, in his obnoxious way. "What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Hospital Accountant, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Accountant.
"Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Accountant. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS, and about once a year they send us a complete dick!"
Monday, 14 January 2013
Sunday, 13 January 2013
Mesmerizing birds
View_From_Here sent me the link to a site showing the video below. I had to go to youtube to get the embed code and found the second one, which is also fascinating. Thanks, View.
Saturday, 12 January 2013
Meow
I'm feeling a bit lazy today. It's cold and gloomy, not terribly inspiring. I'll give you some cat photos, they tend to cheer me up, I hope they'll cheer you up too!
Friday, 11 January 2013
Incredible nature
What an fantastic place!
This photo shows a surreal-looking ice cave on the Kamchatka Peninsula of Russia. It was formed by a stream flowing from the hot springs associated with the Mutnovsky volcano. This stream flows beneath glacial ice on the flanks of Mutnovsky. Because glaciers on Kamchatka volcanoes have been melting in recent years, the roof of this cave is now so thin that sunlight penetrates through it, eerily illuminating the icy structures within. Photo taken by Marc Szeglat on September 12, 2012
This photo shows a surreal-looking ice cave on the Kamchatka Peninsula of Russia. It was formed by a stream flowing from the hot springs associated with the Mutnovsky volcano. This stream flows beneath glacial ice on the flanks of Mutnovsky. Because glaciers on Kamchatka volcanoes have been melting in recent years, the roof of this cave is now so thin that sunlight penetrates through it, eerily illuminating the icy structures within. Photo taken by Marc Szeglat on September 12, 2012
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| (Click on image to enlarge) |
Labels:
amazing stuff,
photos
Thursday, 10 January 2013
The artist
There was an artist who worked from a studio in his home and specialized in nudes. He had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months now.
As usual, his model reported, and after exchanging the usual greetings and small talk, she began to undress for the day's work.
He told her not to bother, that he felt pretty bad with a cold he had been fighting. He told her that he would pay her for the day, but that she could just go home. He just wanted some hot tea and then, off to bed.
The model said, "Oh, please, let me fix it for you. It's the least I can do."
He agreed and told her to fix herself a cup, too. They were sitting in the living room just exchanging small talk and enjoying their tea, when he heard the front door open and close, then some familiar footsteps.
"Oh my God!" he whispered. "It's my wife! Quick - Take your clothes off!"
As usual, his model reported, and after exchanging the usual greetings and small talk, she began to undress for the day's work.
He told her not to bother, that he felt pretty bad with a cold he had been fighting. He told her that he would pay her for the day, but that she could just go home. He just wanted some hot tea and then, off to bed.
The model said, "Oh, please, let me fix it for you. It's the least I can do."
He agreed and told her to fix herself a cup, too. They were sitting in the living room just exchanging small talk and enjoying their tea, when he heard the front door open and close, then some familiar footsteps.
"Oh my God!" he whispered. "It's my wife! Quick - Take your clothes off!"
Labels:
jokes
Wednesday, 9 January 2013
Sending good vibes
Bush fires are raging in many parts of Australia yet again. The temperatures dropped overnight, much to the relief of the firefighters, but they're set to rise again by Friday. Tasmania was the worst hit, followed by New South Wales and Victoria.
I chatted to our son Paul, who lives in Melbourne, and he said conditions are pretty bad. So far, there are no reports of human fatalities, but there were devastating losses of livestock.
Let's all do a rain dance for our Australian friends. They need a lot of rain!
Here are some pictures of the fires:
I chatted to our son Paul, who lives in Melbourne, and he said conditions are pretty bad. So far, there are no reports of human fatalities, but there were devastating losses of livestock.
Let's all do a rain dance for our Australian friends. They need a lot of rain!
Here are some pictures of the fires:
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| Tasmania |
![]() |
| In Tasmania, a grandmother led her grandchildren to the sea, the only safe place... |
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| New South Wales: The smoke darkens the sky and it looks like night time |
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| One of the fires from a distance |
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| Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield took this photo from the International Space Station |
Labels:
Australia
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
Monday, 7 January 2013
Protective mother
Peter found this story today:
Look into her eyes as she cradles her newborn baby and you know she's not going to let anyone mess with the little ape.
Keepers at Twycross Zoo, Warwickshire, have so far been unable to get close enough to 16-stone (224lbs) Ozala to determine the sex of the infant, born four days ago.
Read more on the Daily Mail.
Look into her eyes as she cradles her newborn baby and you know she's not going to let anyone mess with the little ape.
Keepers at Twycross Zoo, Warwickshire, have so far been unable to get close enough to 16-stone (224lbs) Ozala to determine the sex of the infant, born four days ago.
Read more on the Daily Mail.
Sunday, 6 January 2013
Modern fairy tale
Normally I don't post stuff about politics, but I found this video very sweet (and accurate), so I'd like to share it with you. It's narrated by Ed Asner.
Saturday, 5 January 2013
Life is hard
Shapeshifterbelly sent me this joke. Thank you, Shapeshifter.
The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards, claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.
AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.
RANCHER: Well, there's my hired hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.
Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.
AGENT: That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one.
RANCHER: That would be me.
The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards, claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.
AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.
RANCHER: Well, there's my hired hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.
Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.
AGENT: That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one.
RANCHER: That would be me.
Friday, 4 January 2013
Lovely owls follow-up
I received a comment on the photo below, drawing my attention to the lack of credit for the picture. The majority of photos posted here are found on the internet and very rarely credit the authors.
I'm very happy to tell you that this photo was taken by Ellen D. Hartlmeier on behalf of O.W.L (Orphan Wildlife Rehabilitation Society). I'm glad Ellen posted that comment. We've been in touch via e-mail and she told me about their Facebook page, which has up-to-date info and loads of photos! Click HERE to visit their page.
I found out that this lovely reading bird is called Sarah and that she's one of the ambassadors for the species in the Society's educational programs.
I know many of you don't "do" Facebook, so please visit their website to find out more about the excellent work they do and to get acquainted with very attractive birds. They specialize in raptors and, as enthusiastic followers of the Decorah eagles, I'm sure many of you would be fascinated to learn a little bit more about some of the other species. There are many stories, a virtual tour and also a wish list on their homepage. Some of the items on the list are quite easy to find and post to them. They also accept donations.
Enjoy!
[Bonus: I made a new friend!]
I'm very happy to tell you that this photo was taken by Ellen D. Hartlmeier on behalf of O.W.L (Orphan Wildlife Rehabilitation Society). I'm glad Ellen posted that comment. We've been in touch via e-mail and she told me about their Facebook page, which has up-to-date info and loads of photos! Click HERE to visit their page.
I found out that this lovely reading bird is called Sarah and that she's one of the ambassadors for the species in the Society's educational programs.
I know many of you don't "do" Facebook, so please visit their website to find out more about the excellent work they do and to get acquainted with very attractive birds. They specialize in raptors and, as enthusiastic followers of the Decorah eagles, I'm sure many of you would be fascinated to learn a little bit more about some of the other species. There are many stories, a virtual tour and also a wish list on their homepage. Some of the items on the list are quite easy to find and post to them. They also accept donations.
Enjoy!
[Bonus: I made a new friend!]
Thursday, 3 January 2013
Long necked fun
A new David Attenborough wildlife series started last night. This time he's covering Africa and there was some good footage of two male giraffes fighting over a female. It inspired me to look for the photos I've been saving for a while.
Giraffes can be quite lovely when they're not fighting...
Giraffes can be quite lovely when they're not fighting...
Wednesday, 2 January 2013
Clever graffiti
When street art is clever, witty or simply beautiful, it can enhance a drab, boring urban landscape. Pity there's too much of the defacing type of graffiti out there...
Here are some fun steps:
Labels:
street art
Tuesday, 1 January 2013
A fun start
Let's start the new year with some fun stuff. We start with a challenge:
How many squares can you find in this picture? This puzzle has more than 250 thousand guesses on Facebook.
*****
Mrsgunka sent me a nice link to the site of a Swiss student where there are some geeky things. But there's a fun thingie that calculates how many days old you are and the day of the week you were born.
CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT
*****
Who could this be?
*****
Which one are you?
Finally, some interesting pictures:
How many squares can you find in this picture? This puzzle has more than 250 thousand guesses on Facebook.
*****
Mrsgunka sent me a nice link to the site of a Swiss student where there are some geeky things. But there's a fun thingie that calculates how many days old you are and the day of the week you were born.
CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT
*****
Who could this be?
*****
Which one are you?
Finally, some interesting pictures:
Labels:
new year
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