Our friend Tom (in Thailand) sent me this joke:
This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds... to continue shaving and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.
As a man, I don't scare easily... but she scared me so much I dropped my electric shaver which knocked the donut out of my other hand.
In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, I knocked my cellphone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs!
It splashed and burned Big Peter and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers and disconnected an important call.
Damn women drivers!
You may remember Tom from an old open thread, when he sent me this photo of an amazing sunrise:
Thank you, Tom.
Sunday, 11 December 2011
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Now you see me... now you don't!
These pictures are great!
![]() |
| Satanic leaf-tailed gecko |
![]() |
| Bat-faced toad |
![]() |
| Lichen spider |
![]() |
| Mossy leaf-tailed gecko |
![]() |
| Great potoo |
![]() |
| Katydid |
![]() |
| Peppered moth |
![]() |
| Orchid mantis |
![]() |
| Sandhopper |
![]() |
| Find the snow leopard |
Labels:
nature
Friday, 9 December 2011
All I Want For Christmas
Sleuth posted this video on the Wednesday thread, but as HMS Ocean will be back in Plymouth today, it seems appropriate to show it in a post. Thank you, Sleuth.
The BBC reported:
Pop star Mariah Carey has tweeted the crew of a Royal Navy warship after they made a Christmas video using one of her songs to celebrate their homecoming.
HMS Ocean's crew mimed to her 1994 hit All I Want for Christmas Is You and put it online.
After watching it, the singer tweeted: "This is the best thing I've ever seen, you guys just made my day! Happy Happy Christmas!!! x0x0 to the troops."
The ship will be back in Plymouth on Friday after a seven-month deployment.
More than 1,000 friends and family are expected to meet the ship.
HMS Ocean left Plymouth - initially for a seven-week training exercise - in April, but was then diverted to Libya to support the UN air mission during the uprising against Colonel Muammar Gaddafi.
Lt Kelly Cleeve, who filmed and edited the video with WO Mick Wakeham and the aviation department, said it had been a stressful time and recording the song had been "a way to boost morale and give the guys a bit of a diversion".
Lt Cleeve said the idea for the video came when the crew was told the ship would be back in Plymouth for Christmas.
She said Maria Carey's song was the most appropriate choice as "as all we wanted for Christmas was to get back in time to celebrate."
The BBC reported:
Pop star Mariah Carey has tweeted the crew of a Royal Navy warship after they made a Christmas video using one of her songs to celebrate their homecoming.
HMS Ocean's crew mimed to her 1994 hit All I Want for Christmas Is You and put it online.
After watching it, the singer tweeted: "This is the best thing I've ever seen, you guys just made my day! Happy Happy Christmas!!! x0x0 to the troops."
The ship will be back in Plymouth on Friday after a seven-month deployment.
More than 1,000 friends and family are expected to meet the ship.
HMS Ocean left Plymouth - initially for a seven-week training exercise - in April, but was then diverted to Libya to support the UN air mission during the uprising against Colonel Muammar Gaddafi.
Lt Kelly Cleeve, who filmed and edited the video with WO Mick Wakeham and the aviation department, said it had been a stressful time and recording the song had been "a way to boost morale and give the guys a bit of a diversion".
Lt Cleeve said the idea for the video came when the crew was told the ship would be back in Plymouth for Christmas.
She said Maria Carey's song was the most appropriate choice as "as all we wanted for Christmas was to get back in time to celebrate."
Labels:
christmas
Thursday, 8 December 2011
Santa's secret is out
Our Tumbleweed is not over enthusiastic about Christmas, but has a fine sense of fun. She sent me this video:
Thank you, Tumbleweed.
Thank you, Tumbleweed.
Labels:
funnies
Wednesday, 7 December 2011
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
Monday, 5 December 2011
Christmas lights
Not everybody gets carried away with the Christmas spirit... Mrsgunka sent me this very touching letter from a contrite husband:
Hi Sweetheart,
I am sorry about getting into an argument about putting up the Christmas lights. I guess that sometimes I feel like you are pushing me too hard when you want something.
I realize that I was wrong and I am apologizing for being such a hard-headed-guy. All I want is for you to be happy and be able to enjoy the holiday season and Christmas. Nothing brightens spirits like Christmas lights!
I took the time to hang the lights for you today.
Again, I am very sorry for the way I acted yesterday.
Be home later.
Love you……
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Labels:
funnies
Sunday, 4 December 2011
Pirouette
After Billy left for London last week, our cat Pirate was at a loose end, looking for his friend everywhere. When I told Billy about it, he said: "Pirate needs a brother or a sister!"
So the search for a kitten ensued. Today we picked up Pirate's new companion. Here's Pirouette, a feisty, curious and very playful little girl:
Pirate is still going through the WTF stage, but will soon enjoy her company...
[Pirouette was fast asleep on my lap as I typed this post. She's adorable!]
So the search for a kitten ensued. Today we picked up Pirate's new companion. Here's Pirouette, a feisty, curious and very playful little girl:
Pirate is still going through the WTF stage, but will soon enjoy her company...
[Pirouette was fast asleep on my lap as I typed this post. She's adorable!]
Labels:
pets
Saturday, 3 December 2011
Cellphone mischief
Hunnybee sent me this funny video because the guy's accent reminded her of our Austin...
Thank you, Hunnybee.
Thank you, Hunnybee.
Labels:
funnies
Friday, 2 December 2011
Thursday, 1 December 2011
Follow the road
Our friend HelenNPN sent me a beautiful collection of photographs of different types of road (some of them very unusual) with this song, from JRR Tolkien's The Hobbit:
Thank you, Helen.
The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
Thank you, Helen.
Labels:
photos
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
The cuckoo clock
Somebody sent me this joke, but the e-mail address didn't ring any bells, so I have no username to give a hat tip. Thank you, R/M D, this is very funny!
The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.'
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed.... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem pissed off in the least.
Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said, 'We need a new cuckoo clock.'
When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh shit.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted!”
The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.'
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed.... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem pissed off in the least.
Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said, 'We need a new cuckoo clock.'
When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh shit.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted!”
Labels:
funnies
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
Monday, 28 November 2011
How to make babies
Mrsgunka brings us another good laugh:
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,
'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'
'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'
'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my speciality?'
'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat!
After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'
'Leave everything to me... I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'
'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'
'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'
'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.
'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.
'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with..'
'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.
'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'
'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh... equipment?'
'It's true, Ma'am, yes... Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away...'
'Tripod?'
'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs. Smith fainted...
Thank you, Mrsgunka!
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,
'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'
'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'
'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my speciality?'
'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat!
After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'
'Leave everything to me... I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'
'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'
'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'
'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.
'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.
'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with..'
'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.
'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'
'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh... equipment?'
'It's true, Ma'am, yes... Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away...'
'Tripod?'
'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs. Smith fainted...
Thank you, Mrsgunka!
Labels:
funnies
2nd Amendment Christmas in Arizona
I read this on the Daily Mail:
A gun club in Scottsdale, Arizona, is inviting children to pose for pictures with Santa Claus – and a high-powered firearm. Each family member carries their choice of weapon, from pistols to $80,000 machine guns.
Children and babies can also get their hands on a firearm of their choice, including grenade launchers, assault rifles and AK-47s.
The picture, taken against a festive backdrop, will then feature on a holiday card. Afterwards, the families get a chance to test out the machine guns.
‘We thought it would be a fun, family-friendly idea,’ Katie Perrine from the club said ahead of the event’s launch.
Yes... high powered assault weapons make Christmas special for fun-loving families. An AK-47 is a true symbol of love and a festive card with the whole family sporting guns is a great way to celebrate the birth of Jesus!
As we say in Europe, it could only happen in America...
Protect Children, Not Guns
A gun club in Scottsdale, Arizona, is inviting children to pose for pictures with Santa Claus – and a high-powered firearm. Each family member carries their choice of weapon, from pistols to $80,000 machine guns.
Children and babies can also get their hands on a firearm of their choice, including grenade launchers, assault rifles and AK-47s.
The picture, taken against a festive backdrop, will then feature on a holiday card. Afterwards, the families get a chance to test out the machine guns.
‘We thought it would be a fun, family-friendly idea,’ Katie Perrine from the club said ahead of the event’s launch.
Yes... high powered assault weapons make Christmas special for fun-loving families. An AK-47 is a true symbol of love and a festive card with the whole family sporting guns is a great way to celebrate the birth of Jesus!
As we say in Europe, it could only happen in America...
Protect Children, Not Guns
Sunday, 27 November 2011
If pigs could fly...
My friend Dominique sent me this sweet video and I had to share it with you. After all, we're partial to cute piggies...
Labels:
funnies
Saturday, 26 November 2011
Bored husband
View_From_Here sent me a very funny e-mail:
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:
Dear Mrs. Harris,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels on his chest.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a
fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
15. Took a box of condoms to the check out clerk and asked where the fitting room was?
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
Thank you, View.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:
Dear Mrs. Harris,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels on his chest.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a
fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
15. Took a box of condoms to the check out clerk and asked where the fitting room was?
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
Thank you, View.
Labels:
funnies
Friday, 25 November 2011
Real life surrealism in Antarctica
We've been watching a remarkable series on the BBC, called Frozen Planet. A couple of nights ago we saw this incredible footage. The landscape under the ice in Antarctica can only be described as surreal. As I watched, I kept thinking that it would be great to share it with you. Thanks to youtube, my wish was granted:
The BBC website explains the phenomenon and how it was filmed:
With timelapse cameras, specialists recorded salt water being excluded from the sea ice and sinking.
The temperature of this sinking brine, which was well below 0C, caused the water to freeze in an icy sheath around it.
Where the so-called "brinicle" met the sea bed, a web of ice formed that froze everything it touched, including sea urchins and starfish.
The unusual phenomenon was filmed for the first time by cameramen Hugh Miller and Doug Anderson for the BBC One series Frozen Planet.
The icy phenomenon is caused by cold, sinking brine, which is more dense than the rest of the sea water. It forms a brinicle as it contacts warmer water below the surface.
Mr Miller set up the rig of timelapse equipment to capture the growing brinicle under the ice at Little Razorback Island, near Antarctica's Ross Archipelago.
"It was a bit of a race against time because no-one really knew how fast they formed," said Mr Miller.
"The one we'd seen a week before was getting longer in front of our eyes... the whole thing only took five, six hours."
The BBC website explains the phenomenon and how it was filmed:
With timelapse cameras, specialists recorded salt water being excluded from the sea ice and sinking.
The temperature of this sinking brine, which was well below 0C, caused the water to freeze in an icy sheath around it.
Where the so-called "brinicle" met the sea bed, a web of ice formed that froze everything it touched, including sea urchins and starfish.
The unusual phenomenon was filmed for the first time by cameramen Hugh Miller and Doug Anderson for the BBC One series Frozen Planet.
The icy phenomenon is caused by cold, sinking brine, which is more dense than the rest of the sea water. It forms a brinicle as it contacts warmer water below the surface.
Mr Miller set up the rig of timelapse equipment to capture the growing brinicle under the ice at Little Razorback Island, near Antarctica's Ross Archipelago.
"It was a bit of a race against time because no-one really knew how fast they formed," said Mr Miller.
"The one we'd seen a week before was getting longer in front of our eyes... the whole thing only took five, six hours."
Labels:
nature
Thursday, 24 November 2011
Happy Thanksgiving
A very happy Thanksgiving to all What Time friends. Peter joins me in wishing you a great time with your loved ones. It's not a good time to be a turkey...
Labels:
holidays
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)

















































